After the disappointment of two anime cons with little to no anime, I attended the "Classic" anime con (offering round-the-clock anime, just like at the first cons) at Theaterhotel Almelo mere months after Nishicon, booking two extra days so I could arrive a day early, leave a day late, and keep my bags in the hotel room, skipping the eternally problematic lockers.
Getting that room was a struggle: guests were allowed to book the Anime Arrangement from 15 August onwards, so I was online in the morning. The booking website should be accessible from 14:00, then there's technical difficulties until 16:00, then at 20:00 the booking site finally comes online. A minute later, the link to book a room works, but when I try to, the page keeps showing an error about room availability. I call the hotel. Sorry, no booking except through the website, and they haven't heard it's down. Duh, the site is up, I just can't use it to book a room. Firefox keeps reverting the Anime Arrangement's booking dates to today's date, hence the error. Although I haven't used Windows in a decade, I boot its partition so I can try again with the Edge browser, which also reverts the dates but at least lets me change them back. I resolutely click my way through the reservation, pay, and it's done! Now to book the day before and after the con, but these dates are "unavailable". I return to the booking site roughly a week later, when the dust has settled, and book the days without problems.
To get myself in the mood, I bought mochi ice cream at the supermarket in the preceding weeks, and brought along a box of Pukka tea in the flavour "Matcha Clean", as matcha really does soothe the digestive system. Arriving at the hotel early on Thursday, I saw arcade machines being unloaded for the Game Room. The Registration Desk had already been set up, so I snagged a program, again in newspaper rather than glossy booklet form. To leave the cheaper rooms for people who are on a budget, I'd splurged on a Luxe room, but despite being huge (so instead I felt guilty at taking up all this space for just one person), it was a step back from the room I had during Nishicon, as it had no balcony to dry masks in the open air, and no tea-making facilities (so I asked for a water cooker at the reception desk) and there was no quick easy route to the dining room. On the plus side, it was close to the elevator, and didn't overlook other people's houses. It was on the third floor, same as the video room called "Heyermanzaal", but due to the hotel's layout, I couldn't walk there directly, but had to pass through the second floor.
On checking in, I also found that the Anime Arrangement comes with only one dinner voucher this year, presumably because vouchers went to waste due to scheduling problems at previous cons; if I wanted to dine in both evenings, I had to buy the second one separately. I paid upfront for the con arrangement, the Thursday night before and the Sunday night after, then sat down to read the program and house rules. It looked like a Bag Permit for the walking stick was a must. Cruelly, given my low energy these days - already depleted by the relatively short journey to Almelo, although the three bags I lugged along didn't help - the vintage animes that I might want to watch were in two night-to-morning blocks, no titles given, so I didn't know if they would be worth staying up for. The program recounted the pre-WWII history of manga/anime, including how anime ended up being used for war propaganda. A few awesome movies would be shown that I'd like to rewatch, but then I'd be missing stuff I haven't seen yet, so I had to be firm. Shortly after, the water cooker I'd requested was delivered to my room: herbal tea, here I come.
Program times are not always correct, and bars on the program timeline may not always line up correctly, so that two shows which appear to follow each other may in fact start at the same time. The anime program started with titles I already knew, so there would be time to kill before Promare, a film in the same style as Gurren Lagann, which sounded like a good argument against watching it. Your Name (seen in 2018) would be shown again, then, after a gap for dinner, a wealth of shows to choose from between 21:00 and 11:00 the next morning, then another gap to 16:30 to catch up on sleep until the second part of the Evangelion remake; the first part is a summary of the series' episodes, the third follows the Third Impact seen in End of Evangelion (shown at Anime '99). After Saturday's dinner, if I was going to buy a second voucher, another night of chasing timetables, another day of meh from 11.00 to 16.00, then two big items and the surprise movie.
A well-filled anime program does not mean there would be no activities typical of the main anime con; the theme being the 1920s, there was a roaring twenties dance workshop, a roaring twenties glittery-headband-making workshop, a "Cow Cavern" for alcohol tasting, a Prohibition-era-themed murder mystery and the mention of a secret location: "The Blind Pig is not to be confused with any other speakeasies, which may or may not exist and may or may not be located somewhere on the lower levels of the convention." In addition, there were Japanese (and other) board games, food stands, cosplay events, manga displays, and an inflatable pool for "goldfish scooping", the goldfish replaced by rubbery marbles.
When attending the breakfast buffet at any decent hotel, I really live for the omelette and bacon. And the sweet breakfast pancakes. And the yoghurt with diced fruit and jams. No smoked salmon along with the cheese and ham slices this time - a result of the COVID-caused economic slump? - but, standing on its side in its own tray, a big rectangular honeycomb! I was impressed! And a crisp tangerine, all washed down with a glass of multivitamin juice that tastes like watered-down lemon juice.
Several hours before the con opening at 14.00, I scoped out the grounds. The first block of vintage anime would be shown in a foyer close to the stairwell, so in a small space, no possibility to turn the lights off, and unpleasantly close to the karaoke stage. No timetable had been put up yet, but the screen showed a blue-skinned man and woman in space-suits, flying, the man managing to blush red through the blue. At the other end of the con grounds, the Game Room already had a tournament timetable up. There was no sign of a line yet, but I saw other guests show their ticket at the entrance and get a badge, so I did likewise, receiving, rather than the wristband of two cons running, an actual badge on a lanyard. Not only did other guests - and -staff - clearly have the same idea as me about arriving a day early, but I assume the registration desk is happy with anyone who registers early, as it means a shorter line when opening. I also procured a Bag Permit for my cane, being a "prop" and, as we agreed, a grey area, which I attached to the end of the cane's handstrap.
Killing time in the still empty Game Room, I found a tower of a game machine that let me lean on it, so I wouldn't need my cane, to mash coloured buttons in order to climb a virtual tower by completing games which I always lost, because my eye-to-hand coordination is atrocious. I also saw a one-person version of the drumming-duo game machines and asked a member of staff to adjust it for me so I could play sitting - again, so I wouldn't need a cane - but due to the resulting angle at which I held the drumsticks, needing to punch the drums alarmingly hard to make the hits register, and my total lack of understanding of the Japanese instructions, I did so very, shamefully badly that I was glad no one was around to see it. I'd love to try out one of those machines at home, but in a public space? Never again.
Promare starts off with a pow-biff-bang fighting scene, displaying characters' names and body armour types as in a combat game, and a bunch of animation: in a metropolis animated in glaring neon 2D shapes, random people caught up in the irritations of life - train passengers having someone stand on their feet, stressed office workers, downtrodden housewives - suddenly shoot ghostly, flaming pink triangles from their eyes, and set off an inferno. Thirty years later, the tell-tale pink blaze turns up around the world, and where it does, a dedicated team of firefighters, including an over-the-top loudmouth daredevil called Galo, who thinks his irresponsible behaviour is cute, and a striped-odango-haired deadpan technician with pet rodent, will be there to save everyone and put it out. This time, the team even captures the three leaders of Burnish, the terrorist organization that keeps starting these fires, including one Lio Fota, who, once his motorcycle mask comes off, turns out to be a very young boy, and not a terrorist at all, since the Burnish - people who are cursed with pink triangles - must burn, and he simply diverts their destructive urges to places where they will do the least harm.
The firefighters are pushed aside, and almost arrested, by the shark-toothed commander of the anti-terrorist Freeze Foundation, but Galo is nevertheless awarded a medal by Kray Foresight ("Forsythe"?), the governor who rescued him from a burning building when he was young, and who has been a shining example to Galo ever since. The team eat pizza to celebrate, and witness a cook being taken away, and the pizzeria owner arrested for sheltering Burnish. Since the cook was simply using his power of burning to bake pizzas, Galo, furious, roars off on his motorcycle to a frozen lake to cool off, and runs into an escaped Lio Fota, who tells them that the Burnish are not just innocent, but used for experiments. Feeling utterly betrayed, Galo visits Kray privately to return his medal; Kray shows him a horrifying scene and reveals that the Burnished will destroy the planet, so he's secretly building a - Burnish-powered - spaceship to escape with a few elites, leaving the rest of humanity to die. Galo is appalled and does not agree with this plan, so is falsely arrested for assault.
After a while, the team starts wondering where Galo is; team member Aina has a sister called Heris who works on this spaceship project, and fills her in. Aina is as appalled as Galo, and the team is instrumental in not only freeing Galo and the Burnish leaders, but discovering Kray's dirty secret - he's a Burnished himself, there, spoiled it for you - and a way to stop the burning forever.
The only Japanese dishes served at the dinner buffet were chicken teriyaki, and a plate of sushi with pink bits that might be pickled radish. But the delicious baked courgettes with what I think were melting circles of Camembert, made up for the lack of con-themed food. Besides, the con has a growing number of Japanese food stands.
Your Name was followed by a great show I'd seen the start of at Nishicon, earlier this year: Spy x Family, continuing the struggle of a spy to get his adopted daughter admitted to a posh school for, um, spying reasons. This time, the spy has to fight ninjas shooting popguns, and even karate-style battle his brand-new wife. He wins; achievement of entering school, unlocked!
In/Spectre, to hammer home the obvious, is a play on "inspector" and "spectre", or ghost. A young-looking girl with a cane expects a college-age boy to remember her. When did they meet? She saved him from falling once, and was furious that he was about to marry his school friend and sweetheart, which didn't happen, because the sweetheart suddenly dumped him after they saw a kappa (turtle-like water spirit). When this girl was truly young - eleven years old - she was implored to become the goddess of wisdom, giving up an eye and a leg (hence the cane) in return for the ability to see and touch spirits and ghosts, and the duty to police them somewhat; as far as the ordinary world is concerned, she went missing and was found maimed, but with her wounds fully healed. She suspects there is something wrong with this boy, who is somehow scary to spirits, and asks him to team up with her so she can observe him. I only saw the first episode, where he meets his ex, now a policewomen, while pursuing the ghost of an idol singer who wields a steel beam.
It was now ten in the evening, and I had a choice: watch the classics Tenchi Muyo and Slayers in the vintage anime "room", or the new film House of the Lost on the Cape on a comfortable chair in the hotel's theatre. Curiosity and a yearning for comfort won.
House of the Lost on the Cape starts with a detailed animation of grass and weeds growing in pavement cracks. Following a natural disaster, an old woman picks up a young woman and a little girl waiting at what looks like an improvised refugee shelter at a station, to come live with her at a "maiyoga", a mansion-sized traditional house at the top of a cliff. This house not merely looks but is magical, making glasses of water appear to comfort inhabitants. The tales of Japanese mythology that the guests are regaled with, are also real: kappas are regular visitors, and it is they who alert the owner of the house that the sea serpent of legend, who was trapped in an underwater cave, may have been released by the earthquake. The video player broke down at the moment when a mute child wrote something in a notebook, freeing me to go watch the classics after notifying staff of the problem.
What is the old anime hit Tenchi Muyo about? Basically, it's a harem anime. A space pirate with Sonic the Hedgehog hair crashlands her spaceship near the home of a teenage boy called Tenchi Masaki. This pirate is an alien, although of course she's just a pretty girl. More alien characters follow: a detective, a scientist who would like to dissect him, and two princesses; six "aliens" in all, who are, nevertheless, just variations on "a pretty girl". Tenchi has to get to know all of them, while they mess up his daily life with their exotic alien-ness. Ho ho, what larks they get up to.
In Tenchi Muyo in Love, the focus is, for once, not on Tenchi the harem protagonist, but on his mother. He is now a space emperor, and to make him disappear, a villain travels back in time to kill his mother before his birth. So Tenchi and his madcap harem must travel back in time as well, to save her. Problem is, his mother has already died a while ago, so seeing this young version of her gives him complicated feels, rendered as beautiful autumn scenes surrounding her.
Slayers: The Book of Spells, also known as Slayers: Special, is a collection of three OAVs centering on the famously greedy, destructive and flat-chested sorceress, mercenary and brawler known as Lina Inverse, and her companion Naga, the beach-ball-chested wannabe femme fatale with the irritating high-pitched laugh. This laugh is the central element in the first OAV, The Scary Chimera Plan, where a mad scientist wants to capture Lina and turn her into a scary monster, in the course of which he makes ten Naga clones who terrorize the place with their horrific laughter, to which all succumb but Naga herself, who teaches them to do it better, for which they make her their new leader; so, Lina ends up with a cohort of Nagas.
In Jeffrey's Knighthood, the two (their cohort seems to have evaporated) must protect the absolutely useless Jeffrey while he tries to do knightly deeds to get the knighthood his mother wants for him, while said mother follows them in disguise - breaking disguise to beat up anyone who would ridicule her "lovely son" - right up to the boss villain, who turns out to be Jeffrey's father, and terrified of Jeffrey's mother.
In Mirror Mirror, Lina must retrieve a dangerous artifact from the ill-intentioned person who stole it: a mirror that produces a copy of a person with all of that person's powers, but the opposite personality; an evil twin, as it were. Given Lina and Naga's personalities, can we see where this is going? Yes, the villain uses the mirror on the duo, only to be confronted with Do-Gooder Lina and Modest Naga in a fight where the mirror is shattered, but the Good Twins persist, so both pairs go their own way, and the OAV ends on Lina begging people that if they meet the copies, to please ignore them.
If that was a wild ride, Outlanders is basically if Urusei Yatsura (mentioned further down) got real. Kam is a green-haired space babe whose forward-facing horns almost meet over her forehead, and who falls in love with an ordinary human. Her father is a space emperor who wants to conquer-slash-destroy Earth, and he's quite serious about it! It's still comedy, just not the harmless no-one-gets-hurt type; the most obvious comic elements being Kam's two frog-like kissy-faced personal servants and their children.
Following that, Demon Fighter Kocho was just ridiculous fanservice. You want plot? Here you go: a student club must stop ghost attacks at school. Most active in stopping these attacks is a slutty version of Chun-Li from the game Street Fighter, who keeps losing her clothes.
Jujutsu is a form of martial art, so what is Jujutsu Kaisen? A new take on Bleach, even copying the animation style. This time, the thing threatening humanity is "curses" and "cursed spirits", but there exists an elite of "jujutsu sorcerors" who can use "curse energy" to defeat any curses (manifesting as monsters and general body horror) that pop up. The main character has accidentally become the host of the origin of curses: the demon Sakuna, but can stop the demon taking over his body and mind, even if it manifests extra eyes in his face, or mouths on his body to voice its displeasure. He will eventually have to eat all of Sakuna, starting with a finger, and then be executed so Sakuna can die with him.
Mars Red takes place during exactly the roaring twenties that the con celebrates, but the setting is gloomy rather than gay. Although knowledge of vampires is hardly new, vampirism is sufficiently on the rise that the army assigns a special unit to investigate; Code Zero, containing vampires, normally employed for gathering intelligence. Their first case, assisted by regular military personnel, is an actress who died in a stage accident, then miraculously revived. She is found on a deserted plaza in the evening, reciting lines from the play she performed in, and seems completely out of it. For public safety, and to see if she can be recruited into the special unit when she regains her senses, she's locked into a solidly built underground bunker. Meanwhile, the regular army guy interviews Defrott, a seemingly young actor at the now-closed theatre whose looks and demeanour scream I AM A VAMPIRE AND I TURNED HER, but he likewise just quotes from the play. The actress escapes from the bunker, seemingly remote-controlled by Defrott, attacking and wounding her captors, but avoiding killing any. She goes back to drifting about on the plaza until sunrise, and is burned up by the sun, a mystical circle forming around her ashes.
The old general who heads Code Zero, and who mentions that he hates to see young men die, is told that funding for his unit will be cut off in August if it doesn't produce results. Not that the vampires care; far from being languishing Dracula types, they have their own hopes and dreams, and one mad scientist is thinking of branching out into cosmetics. They are given a clue in the form of a sample of "ascra", artificial blood, and told to round up vampire suspects. The oldest, but youngest-looking (turned at fourteen, wears a mask to keep out the smell of blood which goes to his head) member tracks the suspects down and calls in help, but the suspects fight back, wounding the human soldier sent out with the unit to the point that he has to be turned into a vampire to survive. Meanwhile, in a posh nightclub full of vampires, a Rufus Glenn fron England, who definitely is the languishing Dracula type, poisons the patrons with ascra.
Given that my affliction has inverted my circadian rhythm and made night into day, I should not have felt so tired in the small hours, but I was literally ill with fatigue. There were just a few more titles I wanted to watch before collapsing. House of Shadows, or Shadows House, is a mansion inhabited by faceless Shadows - their heads are black silhouettes - who mimic the aristocracy, and have "living dolls" express their emotions for them, as well as clean up the soot they are constantly spreading. One of these dolls is almost mute. Faceless masters, what's that all about? A cheerful, cherubic girl and newcomer to the doll staff thinks so too, and wants to go above and beyond her duties in aiding her Shadow to solve the riddle of their existence. There are several arcs, and the arc shown at the con was "Debut", where the doll-servants have to pass tests to prove themselves worthy, so that their Shadow, usually confined to the house, can accompany them outside. Naturally, Pollyanna LivingDoll didn't know that her debut was coming up, hasn't practiced, and will have to go in blind.
Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle is not the gutbuster I hoped for, but looks like a parody of a platformer game. A Demon King has imprisoned the Princess of Goodereste in his castle, where a Hero has been sent to rescue her, but all the princess wants is a good night's sleep, and the only thing that worries her is the lumpy pillow on her prison cell's bed. She sets about improving it by brushing her bear-like guards for fluff to stuff it with; they even pass her the key to the cell door so she can escape and brush them. Then, the sheets are too thin; she escapes again and snips cloaks and a ghost shroud off demons' backs as a replacement. Each day, she escapes her cell and runs around the castle to snatch this and that for bed improvement, reads grimoires (which make her lose health) or dies from falling into lava, at which point a gravestone appears over her location, and the Demon Cleric has to resurrect her. Her little adventures are alternated with scenes of the rescue party journeying towards the castle.
Ironically, I was nodding off myself, so I went to my room to sleep through the day while Dutch karaoke contestants were murdering Linkin Park again; seriously, what is it with karaoke and Linkin Park? At 16:00 I was up and ready to watch some Evangelion. Rebuild of Evangelion, to be exact.
I saw the third film of this four-parter - the fourth not having been produced yet - in 2014; Shinji, having triggered the Third Impact, is now hated by everyone, joins forces with Kaworu to make things better, and makes them worse. The first film, Evangelion 1.0 You Are (Not) Alone, was a summary of the original episodes leading up to the second film, Evangelion 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance, where the story diverged from the original, and which featured a new Eva pilot, Mari. I walked in at the end of the first film, where a blue cuboid "angel" appears, bores down to NERV headquarters through thick iron plates, hurts Shinji who had been bundled into an Eva unit to go fight it, and is then dispatched in two shots. As always, Shinji is FUKKEN annoying, whining why he should suffer and die while entire military units are vapourized around him. Rei then annoys me by slapping Shinji, not for being a self-centered brat, but for not having confidence in Gendou, the single most openly untrustworthy character in the series. The film ends in Kaworu awakening and emerging from a coffin-like unit.
Since Mari is the only Eva pilot who doesn't waaaangst, I'd hoped to see more of her, but the only screentime she gets is for killing a plesiosaur-skeleton Angel and losing her unit, after which Asuka takes over and saves the day. (Due to Mari's nationality, the film starts in English, making me worry it was a dub.) Sorry, I spent so much time watching for further Mari appearances that I ignored whatever else went on. There's a picnic with food prepared by Shinji, who cooks to avoid Mitsuki's endless TV dinners. Asuka barges into Shinji's room. A womanizer turns up who has a history with both Mitsuki and Ritsuko, the two babes in the base. Family time! Shinji and Asuka have to fight each other in their Eva units, because Asuka's became infected by an angel, and she's badly hurt. Angry family time! Now Shinji runs afoul of Rei's Eva unit and after demolishing an Angel, fuses with it. Bam! Third impact. The End. Also, Angels are not aliens but this planet's original inhabitants, and want it back? That's it, I'm on team Angel.
Dinner was very satisfying; that grilled vegs dish with molten Camembert, yum. Outside in the rain on the hotel's driveway, a bubble tea stand still had plenty of customers. At some point, I was surprised to see a whole row of people with face masks; I thought I was the only one.
I left Weathering With You (shown in the theatre room) after an hour to watch the second block of classic animes, because I knew the first film would be really good. Not without regret, though, because it's aesthetically well done, and I loved the ceiling mural of cloud animals. The film starts in a gritty way: a teenage boy runs away from home, is almost drowned on the way, gets a "job" working for a sleazy "occult investigator", is taken pity on by a fast food employee, and befriends a girl who can make rain stop, a useful skill in a time of endless rains. She is a "weather maiden" and, with her new friend, offers rain-chasing services, dressed up as a cross between shaman and animal mascot. But each time she prays the rain away, she becomes a bit more transparent; it's taking its toll on her.
Saturday's block of vintage animes was shown in a different location, an actual room, with no chairs except for the comfy one intended for the person operating the video player. I asked about this, and was immediately given the comfy chair while the staff brought in folding chairs for any other con visitors interested in anime classics, which was dishearteningly few.
Urusei Yatsura is an anime comedy series with a number of full-length films, of which Urusei Yatsura: Beautiful Dreamer is the second. The background for series and films alike: devil-like aliens have alighted on Earth to take over the planet, which is saved by one schoolboy, Ataru, with whom the alien princess, Lum, has fallen hopelessly in love. Problem: he has a girlfriend. Who does not like to share. And he is a pathetic lech, giving the two girls plenty of reason to either hit him or give him electric shocks.
This film is like a crossover with The Matrix. Shortly before a school festival, for which preparations are being made, everyone in school seems caught in a time loop. And a spatial loop: no matter where people go, they end up back at school. The school, and the town immediately surrounding it, seems to be decaying. The least affected are Ataru and his classmates who, as a touch of humour, congregate in a school cafe with Nazi imagery, each barstool cushion a different helmet style, until a tank somehow ends up in the cafe, damaging the walls and leaving no room to sit. They move into Ataru's parents' house and adjacent shop, the only places where they can still find food: they try to escape in a jet, and see, from outer space, their town on the back of a giant turtle. It seems like a nightmare, and, in fact, is: it's caused by a dream demon, and only Ataru, in his usual bumbling way, can make the dream stop.
Prefectural Earth Defense Force is not the internationally known classic that the above and below items are, and so was completely new to me. The place: India. The scene: a hospital where a traffic accident victim is not only made into a cyborg, but sex-changed. Why? Out of medical curiosity. Also, there is a group of villains called the Phone Pole gang who want to take over the world one prefecture at a time. The head of one of the prefectures decides to thwart this gang by enlisting schoolboys, assisted by a mysterious transfer student from India who just happens to be a cyborg, offering them a stipend for fighting crime. This may sound serious, but the series is a neverending parade of gags.
Project A-kon is also a parade of rather stale and dated gags, the biggest one being a little Japanese girl who talks very loudly and can't cook. Okay, so there's three girls who go to the same school, nicknamed A-ko, B-ko and C-ko. A-ko is always late for school, unbelievably strong and very good-natured. B-ko, with a normal, not-anime face, who is therefore accused of having tiny eyes, is a posh upper-class bitch with a rich daddy who gives her all the money and high-tech toys she wants, which is how she can make body armour to fight A-ko in. Both want to be best friends with C-ko, who looks like baby Sailor Moon without odangos, and is being shadowed by a Men In Black type person who has an alcohol problem. A-ko and B-ko put their rivalry aside when this person is part of an effort to kidnap C-ko, who is in fact an alien princess being brought back home by her loyal men who are, it turns out, all women. Are you laughing yet. I'm laughing. So hard.
Puni Puni Poemi is a parody of the magical girl genre. Its humour is absurd, and therefore actually funny, and I know I'm missing most of the jokes because of all the references I don't recognize. Hyperactive ten-year-old motormouth Poemy Watanabe wants to be a voice actress, but fails at everything she does. One day, her parents are killed (using a wrecking ball) by an alien who looks a bit like the Joker, and she moves in with her best friend and six sisters. When aliens attack the planet again, she grabs a fish, turns it into wand and becomes Puni Puni Poemi, defeats the aliens and then goes on a tear through the city, "righting wrongs" and leaving a trail of destruction. Surprise! Her friend is also a magical girl, and takes her to task, although initially neither is aware of the other's civilian identity. It was a great watch until Poemi suddenly started motormouthing in English. The next episodes were dubs?? Well, as good a time as any to call it a day.
On Sunday, I woke in darkness at 4 am, which was just in time for the last episode of Love After World Domination, a parody of sentai show: heroes that each have a colour, like the Power Rangers, and supervillains with appropriately-themed evil technology. There are three evil princesses. They have ranks. Bear Princess is ranked second, and angry about it. Steel Princess, whose body armour has the shape of a bullet standing on one end, is third, and doesn't care. Under her iron mask, she wears glasses whose bridge is a cute little skull. They are joined by a fourth, the Reaper Princess. She's secretly in love with one of the heroes, but when they share lunch, he picks that of all times to get appendicitis. His mother shows her his baby pictures, which she calls cute, a remark that the mother interprets as a compliment to herself. Steel Princess is secretly in love with a bear-masked commander. Reaper tries to help her by having her take "tests of femininity", like cooking, which she utterly fails, so she locks herself into a kind of iron fortress. Reaper's own love interest tells her he loves her just the way she is, so she relays tells Steel Princess (after risking death to break ino her fortress) to also be true to herself. Steel Princess comes out of her armour - and reveals melon-sized boobs; that's one "femininity test" she passed with flying colours.
The dryly and absurdly funny Odd Taxi may just be my favourite show of the con. It starts with a body wrapped in a tarpaulin, weighted with cinder blocks, tossed in water and sinking to the bottom. Then it follows a taxi driver: a grouchy walrus with insomnia, and events unfolding around him against a curiously blurred background. The first passenger is a young hippo and aspiring vlogger who wants to go viral and takes a selfie with the driver, but leaves his phone in the taxi. Two policemen, raccoons and brothers, ask if he has seen the baboon gangster in a picture they show him; on finding the phone, he sees that gangster in a corner of the selfie. He almost crashes into a phone-obsessed grey cat, sending that phone flying. He sees his doctor for pills, and talks to the alpaca nurse who fancies him, and who is stealing and selling pills to pay off a student debt. He eats lunch with his monkey friend who, desperate for a girlfriend, has started lying on his dating profile. The masked young cat girl who either fell for his lies or has her own reasons for going on a date with him, is part of an upcoming idol group.
Remember the cat guy whose phone went flying? He is the focus of the next episode. As a child, he was a loner, only getting attention through his hobby of collecting novelty and unique erasers. Until the arrival of a new pupil whose father is rich, so this newcomer can get any eraser model he likes. On an online marketplace, the young cat sees a bidding war for a truly unique eraser, nabs his father's credit card and wins by placing an absurdly high bid. Not only does his father beat him up when the credit card statement arrives, but the eraser is never delivered; it seems he was stiffed. As an adult with a job, he has a new hobby: collecting virtual animals in the mobile game Zooden, where he pays for a chance of getting a rare animal; he's trying to win against someone with the same username as the online seller who cheated him, and is about to "catch" a very rare animal when the phone flies from his hand and into a drain. Most of the phone's content can be recovered, but not that rare virtual dodo. To make things worse, on coming home he finds that his pet cockatiel - real, not virtual - has died. When he buries her, he finds a gun. His pupils go wobbly as he becomes unhinged. Who is to blame for all the misery in the world? A procession of authority figures goes through his mind, including a dog version of Donald Trump. He needs a more accessible scapegoat. The taxi driver. The one who made him drop his phone. He's going to kill the taxi driver.
Ranking of Kings is an unusually animated, interesting series. In this fantasy setting, kings are rated by how well they perform. That sounds like a meritocracy, so why is one of an ailing king's heirs an apparently mentally deficient little boy with a determined lopsided smile, who walks out of the palace each day in princely clothes and back in later in his underwear, to the merriment and contempt of the common folk? His name is Bojji, he is deaf-mute, and he goes each day to meet his friend who, at their first meeting, robbed him of his clothes, so now he brings this friend new clothes every day. Little Bojji is much sharper and more aware of his surroundings than he lets on, and good at a judo-like style of swordfighting which is about evading blows. His mentor tells him, using sign language, that such a style is not worthy of kings, and despite being considered an also-ran in the race for succession, he is forced to continue the duel with his spiteful younger, but more able-bodied brother in the default style, being beaten up badly as a result.
Imagine the infinity symbol - an eight on its side, both ends sized equally - lying flat on the ground, each end an eye, sliding like a shadow, sticking up a toothy claw that doubles as hand and mouth when it wants to speak or grab something. This is Kage, last survivor of the Shadow Clan, surprised to find that the silly little boy he wants to rob can lip-read his claw-mouth, and slowly warming to Bojji to the point of secretly following him home. The outwardly ruthless Kage has a tragic backstory: his clan were attacked and eradicated by a king's army. A highborn young girl let him hide inside her teddy bear, and when he shrieked at the sight of his impaled dead mother, started wailing to cover up his cries, her protector telling the soldiers to go away, as they are upsetting the young lady. Once alone, she lets baby Kage escape into the forest, but that is the last help he gets in a long time; he is taken in by a drunken lout who makes him do all the housework and then, seeing a "wanted" poster, turns him in for more drink money before getting himself stabbed in a pub fight. Having evaded his pursuers, Kage, not realizing how he was betrayed, crawls up to the corpse sadly, before heading into the cold, cruel world alone.
The sun was now well above the horizon; time for breakfast. Stumbling around leaning on the walking stick while carrying a loaded tray to a table, I almost dropped the tray. Gah.
The next show, Smile of the Arsnotoria, was an absolute waste of time. In a colourful little fantasy castle, that is also a magic school, live five girls who are various shades of irritating. One of them thinks she's the bees knees. One is geeeeenki and likes to jump off walls. One is morose and easily depressed (the "deep" one) and one I don't even remember. And the fifth is Arsnotoria, long-haired with a ridiculous horizontal curl over her head, nicknamed "Peach Hair", who makes anguished "nnnn" and "uuuuuh" noises and clutches the ends of her hair. Sadly, Solo, the school's green-haired headmistress, is cut from the same cloth: she's like a toddler with tits. The girls are in fact flowers, who protect themselves and their garden from bugs. They spend an episode chasing a bug that turns out to be a shop sprite, and have to pay in mana. Elsewhere, two knights are killing people; one of them is after a book. Could these knights pretty please kill the "flowers"? No? I'll be on my way then.
I checked the timetable if there were other morning shows worth watching, decided not, and retired to my room. During a nap after a long mid-morning bath, I was woken by a call from the receptionist about checkout, because she hadn't seen the reservation immediately following the Anime Arrangement. Once that was sorted out, I rested a bit longer before leaving the room to watch the last two items selected on Sunday's video timetable. I hadn't bought snacks or tried out any activities; the con seemed to have flown by, since I was absent for most of it. What happened to the old me, who attended cons surviving on four hours a night?
With time to kill, and no snacks for sale that I was interested in (I'd hoped to score a thickly-topped Japanese crepe before leaving), I did the unthinkable and tried out "goldfish scooping". The competition was over and the pool deserted, so I got to fish for free. The idea is to fish as many marbles out of the pool as possible, with a rice paper scoop that looks a bit like a thin ping-pong bat. The rice paper will soak, then tear; I thought the game was over as soon as the scoop got its first hole, but the pool attendant told me I could continue as long as there was a surface left, and with his tips, I managed to fish out a respectable 16 marbles before the scoop was utterly destroyed.
A one-sentence review of Birthday Wonderland: absolutely beautiful scenery, but the story is all over the place. To expand on that: Akane is just home from school, and she is sad. All her friends in class wore a "friendship" bauble today, and she didn't, because she was away from school when this was planned, and now they despise her, despite her bashfully mumbled apologies. Every mother and homebody needs a spirited younger sister to be the fun aunt: enter Chi, owner of a little curiosity shop where you don't pick the gift, the gift picks you. In keeping with the shop's magical nature, Akane is accosted by a mysterious alchemist named Hippocrates and whisked off to this Wonderland through a hatch in its cellar, accompanied by Chi, who isn't going to let Akane hog all the fun. Aunt Chi feels much more at home in Wonderland than schoolgirl Akane; when they are told at an inn that they are destined to save the world, the latter is overcome by crushing self-doubt, while the former happily tucks into the food offered.
Their first contact with the locals is old villagers going to a fair in a ramshackle contraption to present their knitted jersey in a competition which could save their village, threatened with famine through drought, only to have their cart devoured by a mechanical dragon, and the sweater perish in lava. The assistant of Hippocrates is shrunk to a fly, and buzzes around their heads while they wonder where he went. They must stop the evil that would change this colourful world to a grey machine hellscape and revive the ailing prince so he can call forth much-needed rain, only the prince isn't where people think he is, and the evil isn't what it seems to be, and after the happy conclusion, Akane returns home to snuggle with her mum while Chi, all tuckered out after the adventure, lets a customer have an item for free so she doesn't have to get up from her nap. That's all I'm going to say. A detailed description wouldn't convey the slight weirdness of a seemingly typical child-in-fantasyland romp that dodges cliches to suddenly dip into drama at the end; you have to experience it.
Jashin-chan Dropkick, shown under the translated title Dropkick on my Devil, is about the lamia (snake from the waist down) demon Jashin, summoned by a noob occultist who doesn't know how to unsummon her, and is stuck with her for a housemate until said noob learns how, or the demon kills her, whichever comes first. Jashin's demon friends drop by, and hijinks ensue! At least, that's what I found out when surfing on the internet to find out what I'd been watching the tag end of while waiting for the Surprise Movie. Animated in supercute slapstick style, an angel is hard at work hauling boxes with a team of weirdoes, then a snake girl comes home drunk to the cardboard house erected for her, passes out on top of it, and knocks it all down. The angel, thinking this is a deliberate act of malice, lets out a deranged laugh. "Low-hanging fruit comedy", was my initial thought. "Tom and Jerry violence", is one netizen's appraisal. I might have liked it better if I'd been less tired.
A semi-satisfying end to the con, the Surprise Movie was both beautiful and slightly infuriating. The title: Okko's Inn. Where "inn" means the old-fashioned, small-scale type where the staff wear traditional flowing robes and wooden sandals. Despite me crying easily and the synopsis telling me it's very sad, it left me dry-eyed.
Okki is a very young girl sitting in the back of the car as her parents chat about an onsen - a hot spring - said to be so welcoming, it accepts everyone, human and animal. A Shinto dance is performed by young people at this spring, and though Okki's parents missed their chance, they hope their daughter will take part in this dance instead.
And that's where the conversation ends, because a crash kills all but the back seat passenger.
The newly bereaved Okki is dropped off at the inn with a suitcase, and shrieks when she sees a spider descend from the doorway onto her head. "I'm sorry, this child was badly raised," the inn's owner, who is Okki's grandmother, says apologetically to the guests before ushering Okki to her room - through a different, smaller door, because Okki is not a guest - thereby dissing both Okki and her parents. The burden of Okki's upbringing falling to the grandparent, the girl is supposed to keep quiet and not get in the way, although her conversation with a ghost that only she can see, leads the grandmother to believe Okki wants to work at the inn and become its next owner. Okki discovers that she enjoys bending over backwards to please the guests, because yay child labour.
Despite being a full-time employee (and getting parental care only from one of the guests, who takes her on a shopping trip), Okki still has to attend school, where she meets a girl whose name escapes me and to whom I shall refer as Okki does: "Frilly Pink", because of the dress she wears. Like Okki, Frilly Pink is an orphan who works at an inn, and she takes her work to school; unlike Okki, she has already inherited the inn, a large, modern hotel - hence her almost Lolita-like Western clothing - with a large staff at her disposal, on whose expertise Okki has to draw when catering to a guest newly discharged from hospital (after killing her parents in a car crash, oops) who, having damaged digestive organs, can only eat bland food. The two girls seem rivals, although their business models are too different to even overlap, and when they are chosen for this year's spring dance, their practice session predictably ends in squabbling.
Given the total lack of the love and support needed by developing children that Okki gets from her grandmother - if the Japanese are cold to their children, they are doubly so to their grandchildren - it's good to see the guests, the ghost boy who first greets her, and even a benevolent little demon picking up the slack. (What is the role of the little demon, you may ask? It attracts guests to the inn.) And that she becomes friends with the other example of child labour, just before her supernatural companions depart for good.
So, that failed to make me cry. What almost did make me cry, was that the con was over. But instead of having to haul my tired carcass home, I could spend another night in a comfy hotel bed.
