Intro
The first thing to say about these games is that they are old. I bought the
first one, The Journey to Wild Divine: The Passage (Wild Divine for short),
somewhere around 2005 in a New Age shop, fascinated by the claim on the box that
it was a biofeedback game; meaning, to me, that it could be played by
brainwaves. It can't, and generally doesn't live up to its promises, but it's
pretty to look at. Pretty enough that when the second game, The Journey to Wild
Divine: Wisdom Quest (I just call it Wild Divine II or Wisdom Quest) came out a
few years later, I bought that too.
And after that, game production stalled. There was Grapher, a utility to read
raw biofeedback data, and Healing Rhythms, a "deep breathing" program featuring
Deepak Chopra, a guru who caters to western whitey, has been labelled a
charlatan, and became involved with the Wild Divine project presumably on
account of the cheesy hippie spirituality that both games exude. What incenses
me personally is the involvement of Jean Houston: Jean Who, you may ask? I read
one book by her, titled "Your Inner Beloved" or something like that (it was
translated, so I'm translating back) in which she hammered home the message that
you must Suffer to Advance Spiritually, and jarringly mixed up ancient mythology
with modern phenomena like acid rain, presumably to make the reader suffer more.
I could have known it was her (checking the documentation included confirmed
this) when, during the game's intro, a middle-aged female Voice of Wisdom - the
kind of voice parents use to let their children know that they know Everything
Better Than YOU - started drawling about humans being gardeners who have to do
their destined jaahb in the cahzmoohz. Spoiler, the second game is worse: it has
a little girl dressed up as pixie, lisping and drawling the same mystic hippie
bullshit in a voice that proclaims: "I can't pronounce words properly because
I'm American, teething, and retarded. Mummy, can I go home now?" If you, dear
reader, feel offended at the last sentence, please reserve judgment until you've
heard the little brat and have to decide between calling Child Protection
Services and strangling her. Luckily, the first game's intro (though not the
animation when shutting it down) can be aborted with a mouseclick, while the
second game has the option to play without the pixie. Still, it's a serious flaw
for games that are supposed to teach inner peace to be so damn irritating.
So, the games are old, they're pretty to look at, they're irritating, what
else is there to say about them? Ah, the Lightstone. This added most weight to
the big box of the first game, which was otherwise filled with game CDs, a
wholly superfluous music CD by the Wild Divine Band, and a manual. Connected to
the computer via USB, the Lightstone is squat and flat like a turtle and has
three wires coming out of it, ending in three little claspers that go around the
central three fingers of whatever hand isn't needed to operate the mouse. The
three wires don't seem very sturdily attached, although in the time when I
bought it, the makers' policy was to replace for free any Lightstone that broke.
I doubt that, ten years later, this policy is still in force, as the Lightstone
has been replaced by something called the Iom, which looks more like a portable
USB drive and also has three fingerclaspers, that are more cylindrical and from
the looks of it, better attached. Maybe it also works better; the Lightstone
measures heartbeat and electricity on the skin's surface (it's subtle, but it's
there) so the fingers have to be slightly moist (in order to conduct this
electricity) if there is to be a signal, but my signals generally tail off to
below 1, and not because my mind is so serene! Apparently, the secret to inner
peace is really sweaty hands. If I'd bought the second game with hardware
instead of just the CDs, it would have included the Iom. The Lightstone will
work with both games, but I don't know if the Iom is backwards compatible.
The company gets kudos for providing both Mac and PC versions of their
software. The first game was installed first on a laptop with Windows ME (where
the sound glitched awfully, apparently the Quicktime version should be neither
too high nor too low) and later on an 800Mhz iMac with MacOSX 10.3 (Panther)
where the sound worked fine. The second game, which might not work with Windows
ME, was installed on the Mac straight away, where it nestled itself in the same
directory as the first game, meaning that their savegames are also in the same
directory, and I've prefixed savegames from the second with "WQ" so as not to
load a save in the wrong game. No matter where it's installed, either game needs
to be activated with a code obtainable from the Wild Divine site. Technically,
the first game can be installed on as many computers as you like, since, as a
fan pointed out on the forum, it has a foolproof anti-piracy mechanism: you
can't do anything with it if you don't have a Lightstone! This was no longer
true for the second game, which may have prompted the development of the Iom.
The first game, which from now on I'll refer to as WD1, comes in a really big
box with pretty scenery all over it and many promises of fortune, luck and
enlightenment to the player, which my eye skips over as it skips over the ads in
a webpage. Supposedly, the game idea was conceived by a Native American who
wanted to put people in touch with Nature and their inner selves, but the
bandwagon was jumped on by various guru types, who, apart from the dear old
Tibetan monk, are insufferable. It begins with a self-importantly aspirated
voiceover ("Ihn the Bheginning...") and animation which I always cut short,
although the animation, ending on a pseudo-gypsy woman finishing her writing
before hopping on a zebra and riding off, is quite nice with the system sound
muted. In fact, I recommend playing your very first game with the system sound
muted (there is no volume slider in the game itself) and making a "StartHere"
save after the waffle is done; there is an option to start the game without
Sophia's introduction, but even with this option ticked she will pop up when the
player enters certain screens for the first time, and she's not the only
character who would benefit from a ball gag. (Click on the screenshot pictures
below to see the larger versions.)
Not that the game starts straight away: first, the Lightstone needs to be
tested; if it's not connected, the game will tell you to take care of that
first. This screen, which can be revisited from the main screen by clicking on
"System", shows the heartbeat as measured from the middle finger, and the
surface electricity of the other two fingers. While doing so it plays peaceful
music, and anyone who wants to measure biofeedback rather than play a game can
just stay in this screen. It's also more instructive than the game, having
taught me the following: when I sit still, the SCL detection (how much "energy"
the Lightstone registers) drops, without me doing anything. When I make a random
movement, it steeply rises. When I make that same movement again: no effect.
When I make a different movement, it rises again. My mood, state of relaxation
and emotional reactions, however, have NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER on the Lightstone -
so much for "playing with brainwaves" - and my breathing doesn't seem to do
anything, either. In short, not only can I easily cheat my way through this
game, but winning it fair and square is impossible because the hardware doesn't
provide the feedback promised.
And here, ladies and gentlemen, we have the main screen. Isn't she lovely.
Give her a clap. The options to take a good look at are "How To Play", because
the interface is not intuitive, and optionally "FAQ".
When a new game is started with the default option, Sophia ("Wisdom", because
that's how humble the game is) appears; she is going to be your teacher, whether
you asked for one or not. She's useful for a first-time game because she leads
the player past a few important points, but this part is best sat through with
the computer's sound muted: just follow her once she's stopped mouthing and
gesticulating and goes elsewhere. For the masochists who want to know what she
says: first she tells you to revolve the pinwheel. (I'm not sure this is even
necessary, though the game claims it is.) Then she leads you into something like
a deserted sultan's courtyard, with sumptuous hangings and carvings and
flowerpots, flowerpots everywhere, and a fountain in the middle, part of the
courtyard surrounded by half an amphitheatre. She takes you for a walk around
the amphitheatre and a man materializes, juggling balls. Sophia introduces and
then starts commanding him: "Concentrate! Focus!" followed by a disgusted "Oh!"
when he drops a ball, presumably because his concentration was broken by a woman
in gaudy rags jabbering at him. Now it's your turn! [Ahhhmmm] Breathe deeply!
Laugh! Remember a time when you were young, and full of energy!
This makes a number of daring presuppositions: that the player 1. is adult,
2. was full of energy as a child, 3. is not full of energy now. Okay, juggle
balls (or not) and then go to a bridge where, if the sound is off, the game will
seem stuck because Sophia goes out of sight while forcing the player on a
minutes-long guided imagination trip revolving around apples, so when an apple
starts revolving in the air, your wait is almost at an end. Finally, she
disappears over the bridge in a flash of blue and now you can cross into the fog
to find the Lady of the Woods!
Well, here we are in the wood. A wolf appears. And another. And another. And
so on. Finally, a white-ish wolf stands alone in the clearing and walks off
looking over its shoulders, expecting the player to follow. As the whole game
looks pretty, the door it leads the player to is too ornate for a simple cabin
in the woods, but what the heck, this is a place of magic. Sophia said it, so it
must be true.
The owner of the cabin wants a fire made (the more you relax, the higher the
flames...) while she finishes your magic bag, which is necessary to collect the
rose, which is necessary to watch the Double Durga Dancers, which is necessary
to get the Durga eye, which isn't necessary at all but provides helpful
feedback. (Also, the bag may be needed to collect the crystals; it's a long time
since I played this game to its end, so I can't exactly remember.) If the sound
is on, the Lady of the Woods will waffle that you must be special because "Luna"
(the white wolf) is usually very selective in who she brings to the cottage.
(Here's what makes me special: money transferred itself from my wallet to the
game seller.) The mirror to the left may be useful if you're stuck, so I make a
first bookmark here. Drop the seed of your question into the metaverse!
Ooh, there's a bag in my inventory! At last, Sophia says you're on your own
from here on, but suggests you visit the Temple of Awareness. Her dog (that
collie on the left) will guide you. In case that wasn't obvious enough, her
voice will go "follow the dog" whenever the mutt scoots past. It's not time to
turn the sound back on yet.
It is, however, time to mention the map. The map of the fantasy garden called
the Sun Realm is brought up by pressing the M key, and closed by pressing the M
key again. The first thing that deserves mention: this map shows a few large
features, but NOT every site where the player can find an "event" (a biofeedback
exercise). Next, it does NOT have a "you are here" marker. Finally, but that
follows from the first complaint: it does NOT offer quick travel. This has been
improved on in the second game. Given that the features are not named in the
screen where they appear (so when, for instance, I'm surrounded by coloured
standing stones, I can only deduce that these are the Rainbow Rocks) and I'm
crap at map-reading and remembering routes, and that travelling from point to
point isn't done logically (I click on a down stairs to get to the middle of the
courtyard, and the - unskippable - "travel" animation takes me down the stairs,
across the courtyard and up the opposite stairs, where I didn't plan to go) the
improvement is a welcome one.
I have to turn back (if there is a possibility of turning back, broad purple
arrowheads will appear on the sides of the screen when I move the wand-shaped
cursor there) because the courtyard is where I will a wheelbarrow of flowers,
including the layered-lollipop flower that passes for a rose. Once that rose is
in the inventory, it stays there forever, no matter how often I offer it to the
Double Durga Dancers. But before I visit them, Doggit wants me to go to the
Temple of Awareness.
Those who have watched the animated intro may remember an outline of a figure
sitting in a stylized depiction of the lotus position, while holding its arms
over its head. This is the figure depicted on the gate of the Subtle Body
Temple, right next to the Temple of Awareness which is up the stairs to the
right, and the place where the player was supposed to be going. If instead you
stray from your journey and succumb to the lure of the gate, Jean Houston will
get her claws into you.
The opening of the gate is just another biofeedback event. Once inside, four
women in colourful shawls will dance while pretending to be from India, then sit
down demurely while a voiceover explains that you must now take off your
biofeedback gadget and obey the orders on the screen. Said orders are given by
none other than the patroness of Suffering herself, and include making your
astral body hop. I kid you not. To avoid having to sit through her
self-important droning, leave the temple as soon as the dance is over.
If you skip both the stairs to the right and the gate to Jean Houston, and
instead turn all the way left, there's a nice little surprise. The heart over
the first few steps indicates that this is a "heart" exercise, instead of the
"raise/lower energy" exercises that the Durga eye is useful for. Supposedly, one
needs to regulate one's heartbeat to build up the stairway leading to an
otherwise unreachable location. In practice, all I have to do is sit still and
enjoy the soothing sights and sounds until wham, the bridge is completed and I'm
rushed off to a biofeedback playground.
This biofeedback playground features three circles in which you can make your
"energy" produce lines and patterns that cycle through the colour spectrum. As
Bart Simpson would say: "Coool."
Return and go up the stairs to the right to visit the Temple of Awareness,
complete with genuine Tibetan monk. (You can make a bookmark or savegame to
return to the playground, but I find building the bridge every time to be too
much fun.) Once he's finished jawing (sure, he's not as irritating as the
others, but how about just shutting up and letting me play!!) a picture of him
will enter the inventory and can be clicked on to give advice during any
biofeedback event the player is engaged in. This is totally unnecessary as the
events are quite simple - calm down, get excited, level heartbeat - but the
exercises in his temple are enjoyable enough to merit a second bookmark. And
that's your lot: one "undo" to go back to the previous location and two
bookmarks to jump to, the only other way to directly access other places and
events is through savegames. The waffle is almost at an end, the StartHere
savegame can be made in a conveniently central spot and the sound turned back
up; there are two more wafflers along the way, but they're easily avoided. Time
for the Double Durga Dancers!
The route to the Double Durga temple goes over the Silk Road. Entering
involves being swooped over a pool of rainbow water. Inside, two remarkably
professional Indian dancers (especially compared to that Subtle Body Temple
charade) perform a dance of water and fire at opposite ends of the temple, the
only marring elements being the nasal American drawl telling me twice to offer
the rose on the altar (it's the same rose both times) and the repeated message
in a thick Indian accent that I have received the Eye of Durga (how about just
checking the game flag to see if it was already delivered, thanks?) There's no
event here, and no reason to return except to see the dancers again.
What this Eye of Durga does: any time I approach an event not of the "heart"
type, a pair of eyes will open over it in blue or magenta to tell me if my
"energy" should be raised or lowered, and a vaguely eye-shaped meter appears in
the inventory bar. The "zero" value for this energy meter is whatever the
player's signal is when starting the event, so to easily finish events, get your
signal really low (happens naturally in my case) before starting a "magenta"
event and really high before starting a "blue" one.
As an aside, Durga is one of the consorts of Shiva, or rather one of the
aspects of his consort: a fearsome goddess of war riding a lion (or tiger) and
carrying in her eight arms all manner of choppy and stabby implements to exact
swift justice on the western hippie hordes whose sole understanding of the
tangled mess of deities and beliefs caught under the umbrella term of Hinduism
is that it's "deep, man, deep".
A nice spot for that StartHere savegame would be the Rainbow Rocks, which
need crystals delivered to them at some point. Besides, they're pretty. An
elevator (operated by "energy" of course) takes the player up to the raised
walkway which leads to the Town of Reverence, where said crystals are found in a
shop.
Right at the top of the elevator shaft, be sure to avoid the Theatre of Inner
Imagery. If you enter, a guy who talks like the one from the "Don't Worry, Be
Happy" song begins an uninterruptible yaddayadda about the mind flic he made
with Sophia last week and how you need to get another person to play with you
and suggest images to each other, after which you're ushered into the theatre
hall. Opening the hall's roof is a biofeedback event, but the swirling colours
you see after that mean exactly nothing, being purely background to this
two-person imagination session that the game insists you try.
Like the Subtle Bullshit Temple, this scene shows the central flaw of the
game: its manipulative purpose. When a company produces a first person shooter,
the game is a first person shooter bought by gamers who want to play a first
person shooter. The games of the Wild Divine project are more like a "free
games" site designed to make visitors accidentally click on its ads - the second
game has an actual ad in it - since they are attempts to squeeze the buyer of
the game into a certain mould, under the pretence of being games controlled by
biofeedback data instead of a mouse. The free games on an ad-riddled site can
still be enjoyed as long as the player keeps an eye peeled for ads, or installs
AdBlock; likewise, the biofeedback play can still be enjoyed by blocking out the
manipulation attempts. Still, it's sad that games/sites resort to such underhand
tactics.
And here we are, ladies and gentlemen, in the Town of Reverence. On the left,
the door to the Crystal Shop. On the right, the door to the "you WILL want to
clock this guy" shop.
Enter the clock shop, and a man in a medieval monk robe will start blathering
about time and how it is relative. Set that clock to twelve o'clock, will you?
(Finish biofeedback event.) Well, here you are on a balcony with a giant
hourglass. The hourglass will now turn over and Clockman will go blah, blah,
BLAH until the sand runs out. There, you have now learned to slow down time so
that you can experience a passage of hours in a matter of minutes. Waiting for
the blather to end (characters who are starting to blather can be cut off by
leaving their location, but only if you click on the exit fast enough) certainly
felt like an eternity, and demonstrating that the perception of time is relative
by forcing someone to wait for a certain period is absolutely not a stale and
over-used cliche. I know some people love such babble and lap it up like wine,
but dear gods, this kind of mouth noise is why genuine spiritual seekers take
vows of silence.
From here on, it's smooth sailing with the occasional bit of blah-blah,
notably from the Falconer, who dresses like, and probably is, Clockman, and a
message at a certain crossing that it can't be crossed until the next game
(which starts with the player flying to the other side). Must-see sights are the
Celestial Telescope and the Pool of Akki.
Of course, the game isn't all loitering around: you have a Purpose! Find a
way inside the Tower of Legends, descend to its musty basement where a boat
awaits you, float to a sleeping Lady of Compassion and wake her up.
There, you have now beaten the game and become Enlightened. Your creativity
and productivity are legendary, your bank account is bursting and your force of
personality is such that comely girls/boys/sheep (check which applies) throw
themselves at your feet begging to be your lover - all because of the Mind
Powers you have awakened by following the game's instructions! Enjoy your
Success!
Or just fire up an old savegame for more gameplay and eye-candy enjoyment.
Whichever.
Replaying part of the game for screenies really reminded me why I've left it
lying about in the dust for so long. That said, I still prefer it to its
successor.
Wisdom Quest, or WD2 as I'll call it, doesn't have screencaps yet. This is
because, out of sheer disgust, I didn't even finish it the first time I played
it. It is technically, visually and musically superior to WD1. Instead of being
carted from one screen to another, the player is still moved from point to
point, but can look around 360 degrees at each point. It starts wonderfully with
a flight over a divide and a hot air balloon that has to be launched and a walk
down a quay from which various colourfully decorated rooms can be accessed.
These rooms have lots of pretty things to look at that don't actually do
anything, the same problem as with Myst. (The first games I played were text
adventures, so I expect every item that draws my attention to have a function.)
Travel is improved, each biofeedback event that has already been visited can be
accessed directly, and there is even a guided tour mode that skips the game and
simply leads the player past the events. The biofeedback events are now more
sophisticated, requiring the player to raise, lower and hold their "energy
level" with precision, which simply means I have to cheat harder and still can't
play straight, as the Lightstone doesn't measure my "energy level", period. The
manual is a centimetre thick, describing every single event with blurb texts
that are all permutations of "doing this exercise will help you in your real
life".
Oh, and the bashful little green pixie girl with her faux-cute slurred
speech. Liquid, boiling hate.
Anyway, this part will be updated when I can bring myself to play it to the
end.
Revisiting the Wild Divine website after
some ten years shows that game development is still more or less stalled in
favour of "deep breathing"-type courses. There is one set of casual games, or
rather one game in five variations, of the time
management type, only with biofeedback instead of mad mouseclicking; the
graphics are unimpressive. The two Wild Divine games are no longer available,
although maybe they could be bought secondhand on eBay or something, but have
been re-released as one game in a new format. To quote the site:
Wild Divine: Return to the Sun Realm - this is not your
parent's Wild Divine! It's been 10 years since The Sun Realm became your world,
and there's never been a better time to revisit the Realm. The newly refreshed
and rebuilt version of Return to the Sun Realm is all-things Wild Divine, but
amazingly more real. You can explore anywhere, unfettered, and in real-time!
The other products, available for both Windows and Mac, are:
Watch your responses in real-time, on screen!
Practice these time-tested techniques along with your mentors as you listen to
relaxing music and watch soothing visuals transform on your screen. Or switch to
the Grapher Mode and track your reactions as they rise and fall in synch with
your state of mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
Much as I'd enjoy messing around with biofeedback toys, the "with your
mentors" bit worries me. This title needs to come with a guarantee that all
"mentors" involved can be clicked away as soon as they open their mouths.
A new and exiting innovation in Zen Journey is the
"Intelligent Guide". During key meditation sessions guided by Master Amon, your
Iom will detect whether your mind is wandering from the teaching, and this will
trigger the Master to give you helpful guidance. If you are doing very well, the
Master will also give you positive feedback.
So, the Iom has mastered telepathy? What an exciting technological
breakthrough. And the Master will be doing exactly nothing: the installed
software will play back a recorded message depending on input from a non-living,
easily manipulated device.
Once you have accumulated enough time at each robe, and
participated in enough quality meditation time, the Master will summon you and
present you with the next robe. These personal meetings are quality one-on-one
time with the Master, where he reveals a story, koan, or teaching that is
essential to your success at the next level.
They are not personal meetings, they are recorded videos of what promises to
be intelligence-insulting pseudo-spiritual babble, and they are not essential to
meditation. Much as the beautiful background shown in the screenshot entices me,
the course promises to be too aggravating to allow for its claimed purpose of
teaching inner peace. (Or is that the challenge: if you can sit through this
nonsense without popping a blood vessel, you are a true Zen Master?)
Mindfulness Academy by Wild Divine is a flexible,
entertaining way to hone your focus and concentration, increase and maintain
your energy, even if you are feeling overwhelmed. Very quickly, you begin to see
how to live a life that's less about your stress, and more about realizing your
dreams; less about what you MUST DO and more about fulfilling your
ever-expanding potential to THRIVE in every part of your life.
Here's what also increases and maintains your energy: eat plenty of vitamins
and take a walk outside once in a while. Works better than any software.
While immersed in on-screen play and exercises, your mind
is subtly diverted from stressors and towards positive states. You learn to
defuse challenging situations, people, emotions, and thoughts faster, easier,
and more naturally. So you can get back to your life. Have better relationships.
Be more productive. Feel more balanced and focused. Have more fun!
I say, do any buyers for whom all these grandiose and overblown claims don't
come true, get their money back? The game also has customizable Positive
Affirmations. Just think how that could look: "Every day, my pen1s is getting
longer and harder." Oh woe, the Viagra market will collapse.
The "Coffee Bar" game within Wild Divine Online's City
courtyard proved to be wildly popular, and is one of the most visited Active
Feedback activities. We've decided to expand the Coffee Bar outside of Wild
Divine Online, and into the rest of a town square, complete with Sushi, Tacos,
Ice Cream, and Pizza!
This collection of five distinct Wild Divine games, each with nine levels to
conquer, is tons of fun, but will simultaneously train you to "keep your head"
in stressful situations and help you to master the key techniques that separate
happy, successful people from stressed-out rat race runners.
Maybe Oberon Media/CasualGames should start making the
same claims about its own time management games. After all, time management is
about keeping your head, whether or not you wear a biofeedback device. A snooty
phrase like "the key techniques that separate happy, successful people from
stressed-out rat race runners" also torpedoes any interest I might have had in
what might have been an entertaining set of games. As a final insult, the
graphics look like something from a crappy Flash game.
Analogous to Myst Online and The Sims Online, there is now a Wild Divine
Online (WildDivineOnline.com) where players can meet and explore a virtual world
together. A free one-year subscription is part of a limited time special offer:
the Ultimate Bundle, consisting of all six titles plus Iom, for half the amount
it would cost to buy all items separately (ie. still over USD 500). I'm torn.
I'd really like to try out the Iom, because I'm a sucker for interactive
technology. I'd love to see the remade Sun Realm (which is said to also work
with the old Lightstone), because I'm a sucker for eye-candy. I'd even check out
the online world (at a time when no one else is logged on, preferably) because
I'm curious: the same reason why I'd want to take at least a peek at any of
these titles. But the hippie-yuppie-hipster-guru blather about being MORE and
MORE and MORE successful through meditation, invoking all the cliches like
"achieving inner piece" and "being in harmony with the Universe" when it's
obviously all about material gain, is doing a very good job of repelling me and
making me reluctant to give any more money to this company.
But I don't have the money anyway, and by the time I do, the offer will have
expired. See? The Universe takes care of everything.
The Passage
Wisdom Quest
Wild Divine Project
Formerly Healing Rhythms, which succeeded the games as an indication
that the "masters" now intended to train their sheep directly, not even
bothering to dress it up as a fun game. Well, maybe it still has eye-candy:
In the way that yoga classes for rich white women are authentic yoga. Two
excerpts from the product description:
Although the games might be amusing to a wage slave in a Dilbert cubicle,
the purpose of this title can be summed up as "be less of a worker ant, so you
can be a better worker ant". As the product description says:
Finally, a real game. Quoting the description:
Now this could be interesting. Although I had the impression that it's
already included in Relaxing Rhythms.
